Ahoy all, it’s been a while since I’ve had my computer so this will either be a very long one or two separate ones. Knowing me however, it will be two very long ones. I’m getting into the swing of not doing much so these blogs are getting to be quite the chore as I’m sure you can sympathise. ;-)
So, we left our base in Phuket with a few of the other folk we have met while staying in Ya Nui, a handsome couple called Mike and Natalie who are part owners of the place we’re staying at, Giles, their good friend and business partner from England here ona brief holiday and a diamond of a chap called Mark who is the resident hippie type around here while not working as a best boy on movies in England. All in all, a good bunch to be heading off with on our wee holiday within a holiday.
We booked a flight to Udon Thani in the North of Thailand with the aim being to cross the border at Friendship Bridge into Laos where we could go to the Thai Embassy and apply for a double-entry visa for Thailand which would give us 4-6 months stay instead of the 30 days you get each time you come into the country. Through some good fortune it turned out that Giles (or Bertie, as he was usually referred to) lived and worked in Thailand and Laos for 10 years so knew his way around somewhat and kept us right along the way. In the end he proved himself to be pretty indispensable in keeping us all in order, entertained and most of all ticking all the boxes for the experiences we should be having at each destination. I salute you sir.
Anyway, our wee trip ended up being 3 flights, which would see us spending 2 nights in Laos, 1 in Udon Thani and 1 in Bangkok. The flights with Air Asia are a very good deal, always cheap and the planes are modern, clean and you’re well looked after – kinda like that Gucci Megabus they tried for a while. We got to Udon Thani in a relatively painless fashion just in time for the sun setting, although it was 30 degrees it seemed a lot cooler and the light brought a nice wee calm over me.
To get into Laos you have to get in a rickety bus and go over something called Friendship Bridge and go through kinda shady borders that look a bit like that shite subway station at Kelvinhall. The side of the road that you drive on changes as you cross the bridge too which was pretty weird, you don’t realize that you notice these things until they are different. The sky was pure pink and orange as we were crossing as the sun was going down and mixing with the smog over the Mekong River, quality.
Laos is really nice, we were only in Vientiane, which is the capital (if you could call it that) but was still really chilled out. I’d heard people comment that Laos is like Thailand 20 years ago before it got all tourist friendly and westernized and I’d imagine they are right. The main difference is the attitude of the people, you don’t get people chasing you down the road determined to deck you out in a Juicy Couture jogging suit or the like. Instead they leave you to it, if you want to buy you can , they’re nae arsed but do like a good haggle. They seem to set up another world as soon as the sun sets. Pavements disappear and restaurants, bars and shops all appear as if from nowhere, it’s quite impressive really how people adapt any way they can to make a living. The electricity poles on the streets are the scariest bit, it looks like everyone just taps into the supply from the poles in the street and they emit a strange crackling buzz that makes you fear the rain like Reekie fears a Sandyford text. There is a much bigger language divide in Laos than there is in Thailand, most people don’t have even a basic grasp of English which on reflection I kinda liked. I don’t have a basic grasp of Lao so fair is fair. Their money is a bit mental though, it’s really very cheap in Laos but it doesn’t seem it as for £1 you get 13000 Kip so buying a 5 grand mars bar gets a bit confusing.
The first morning in Laos we had to go to the Thai Embassy to apply for our Visa’s…words, guidebooks and hand gestures could not communicate this to our Tuk Tuk driver but luckily someone at the hotel desk wrote it down for us in Lao to show the driver. At this point (even though we weren’t in Thailand) I felt the most like I was ‘Cruisin’ down the streets of Siam’ like at the start of Kickboxer with Van Damme, it was like I was actually in the film and actually in the 80’s so I did what anyone would…hiked up my chinos, slipped on a tight black singlet with buckles, had a wee dance then avenged the crippling of my brother in an ancient underground temple. Once that was out of the way I went to the Embassy.
Outside the embassy are lots of wee men with school tables and forms and the idea is that they fill out the forms for you for a pound, that way it all gets done correctly and they provide an address for you to say you’re staying at etc… You also have to get a ‘passport’ picture done, this was the funniest bit, we had to sit on a plastic garden chair under a sheet of tarpaulin in the street with a white blanket behind you as they took a snap of you on a wee digital camera then they printed the pics off on a wee printer. It was a pretty impressive wee racket although it did feel like we were buying acid or something, I tried licking the photograph but unfortunately the walls never melted and the sky never turned to lizards. After all this we took a number and queued at the embassy and had to give our passports up for the night and pick them up (hopefully) with our visas the next day. Throughout this whole process we were drinking a carry out, no one seemed to mind, no one complained (about the drinking or the waiting) and all went smoothly. I figure if we employed a bar in queues or at least allowed people to take a bevvy when they’re doing things that no one really likes to do then there would be a lot less hassle, fights and complaints in the world. They have it sussed over here likes, you can buy a beer from practically anyone in this part of the world, shops, fishermen, children and even dugs!
The rest of that day we tried to take in a bit more of Laos, went to some museums (which were full of what looked like extra large Blue Peter Thunder Birds Island papier mache models) and monuments before settling on the banks of the Mekong for a bit of a taps af(f)ternoon. We caught sight of some kids heading down to a pool of water for a wee swim so got some beers and headed down for a wee splash too. The girls got right into it and had a good water fight with the weans while Mike and I skulked a bit in the shallows with our cameras ($$$). At this point some guy came along in an army outfit with what, in the sunlight looked like a gun but turned out to be a spear! He seemed to be keeping an eye on the kids in some kind of official capacity, from their school or something maybe, but then another guy appeared in some completely new capacity, Readers Wives Monthly maybe? The girls were in their underwear in the water and Jimmy Paparazzi couldn’t get enough of it, he just kept taking more and more pictures to the point where we had to leave. I hope he got a good chug out of it. Gid lad. It wasn’t until after we had left the Mekong that the fear of parasites, beasties and diseases struck us so we headed straight for a shower and an early night while the elder statesmen showed us how it is done as they did every night.
The next day we took in a bit more of Laos, speculated on how we would definitely be back to see more of the country. Laos is pretty massive and borders about 6 countries, a lot of it is really rural and it has a lot of natural beautiful mountains and waterfalls. Apparently one of the best ways to see the country is to get a wee vehicle and sort out some home-stays with people in the jungle and the like. It sounds like it could be a laugh and surely an experience so we have vowed to return. The Visa’s came back without any problems and we met up with the rest of the group and went for cocktails and dinner while watching the sunset over the river, the colour of the sky was pretty amazing.
Next blog up when I get the motivation will be Chinese New Year in Udon Thani, utter madness in Bangkok and our return to Phuket.
Laterrzz
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