My internal misery has been brought to my attention more times than I care to mention by my other half, but if I’m honest I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking. Imagine a shorter, bearded version of Rodin’s sculpture with a drink in his other hand. I proffered to myself that it might have been the lack of a good vista from our insanely blue cell of a room or possibly the lack of a good, healthy, smiling visage on my part. As mentioned prior in my ‘downer’ of a blog…I’ve started working here and now I have started working two jobs. The point in all this is not only to offset the cost of living but also to offset the boredom. I realized that I haven’t been in the sea or indeed the sun for over two weeks now and the tan I gained from frolicking on the beach and suffering in the shade has completely faded to a shade of white not far from ‘eggshell’ or whatever that hairy Patrick Bateman dog from Dulux is currently calling white. At least I’m the only one here without a tan which does set you apart from the hordes of Swedish Gigolo dancers that vie, topless, fruitless and mindless for the attention of any girl with a heartbeat and a risk of a slipped nipple.
At work I have been working a beach bar by myself during the day which I really quite enjoy to be honest, although, not once have I felt like Tom Cruise in Cocktail (maybe I should call this blog ‘Cock Tales’??) when he moves to Bermuda or wherever it was.
When the bar is a hut on the beach you don’t get the amenities you would expect of such an establishment, e.g. a sink or an ice machine. A Swedish guy owns the place and all the staff seem to be Swedish so I’m not sure how they are taking to me yet. On the plus side, I get to play my own music all day with a perfect, postcard view and I always strive to provide table service in the pursuit of the elusive ‘tips’ of which I’m allowed to keep in this job. In the other bar I work for around 3 hours a night notching up about £6 for the whole shift and all the tips go to the Thai staff as they work the whole day and night for even less. This is understandable I suppose, but equally depressing as you can imagine. So, in the place you get to keep your tips I’ve found myself to be quite an outgoing wee character, much to the surprise of myself and no doubt to my friends from home. Racking up 1000 Baht in tips in one shift shows me that I’m changing my ways a little bit and after all I suppose that’s what travel and experience should do to you.
There is still some abject misery in my soul however when I think that I’m doing almost exactly what I was doing ten years ago for a fraction of the pay. I get to meet some nice people though, I always say that manners cost nothing and you should treat people as you wish to be treated yourself and you would think that the ‘travelling community’ would be a bit more self aware when it come to this sort of thing but I soon realized that there seems to be no community at all here, only Japanese holidaymakers insanely taking pictures of themselves draped over items as exotic as a wall near a beach or a sign advertising ‘PIZZA!!!!’ and then the aforementioned ‘call me rude boy, boy’ types that are here to spend and be spent.
Back to the strange suggestion that I’m being a bit more outgoing and talkative…the night-time, nightmare restaurant job I have needs someone to stand on the street with a menu offering up the services and special offers and I’ve found that I’ve actually quite enjoyed it. The funniest thing for me is imaging if I was standing on a street in Glasgow shouting ‘Hud Yur Dinnnerrrrrr hen??’ would be absurd, down right cheeky and would be responded to with a swift kick to one’s coupon. For those of you that aren’t Scottish, I’ll enlighten you to two things…firstly, one’s coupon is an affectionate term for one’s visage and secondly asking a lady if she has ‘had her dinner’ means ‘Have you had sex?’ and even more obtuse is asking someone if they ‘want their dinner?’ something you couldn’t get away with at home but I take great pleasure in presenting the ‘special offers’ while I’m here.
We will be ‘flitting’, or moving home tomorrow and I’m planning on spending a little more money to have a nice sea view and a bit of sunshine to wake you up in the morning, maybe it’ll make me feel a little better about the world and I’ll be a shiny, happy person. Until then, I’ll keep to my introverted ways and ponder my surroundings as best I can.
Will do a new blog soon as this one has been short due to distraction. I’ve met some nice people and had some new experiences that will surely keep you amused.
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